Trust me, you don’t want to be tardy to this dinner party.
When I think of Martha Stewart, I think of the woman who has motivated me to live the good life. When I think of Snoop Dogg, however, I think of the man who just wants me to live high on life.
A trailer was recently released as promo for Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg’s new show, Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party, which airs tonight at 10 p.m. on VH1. It’s bizarre, and I’m not even sure I wanted or needed another celebrity-filled cooking show. But then I remembered when Martha and Snoop made mashed potatoes and green brownies together for her TV specials in 2008, and suddenly, I’m back on board. Just to hear Martha Stewart utter Snoop’s catch phrase, “Fo shizzle,” or watch Snoop Dogg try to sneak anything green in a recipe is enough for me. Will it be ridiculous? For sure. But it's just the type of ridiculousness I subscribe to on TV. Of course, it wouldn’t be a holiday dinner party without a few wacky guests, so you can expect to see Wiz Khalifa, DJ Khaled, Jamie Chung, Kathy Griffin, Seth Rogen, 50 Cent, and more cooking it up in the kitchen with Martha and Snoop.
Keeping in tradition with this odd coupling, I thought of six other foode personalities and musical artists who seem like an improbable match, but would actually compliment each other as well as gin and juice.
Who: Mario Batali and Lady Gaga
Why They'd Work: I can’t say enough great things about Mario Batali, and while I’m not a huge fan of Lady Gaga, I appreciate how both have broken the fashion rules. I mean orange Crocs don’t go over too well in the fashion industry, whereas Mother Monster has worn just about every weird stiletto you could imagine and an edible meat dress, giving new life to you are what you eat. Style and food interrupters--gotta love ‘em! But more importantly, both Batali and the Joanne singer are of Italian descent. Gaga even penned the foreword for her father’s cookbook, titled Joanne Trattoria Cookbook: Classic Recipes and Scenes From an Italian American Restaurant, which is set to be released on November 22. In it, there are recipes for the Italian dishes served at her father’s New York City restaurant, Joanne Trattoria, and family stories and anecdotes. It’s only fitting to have the chef, who has changed the way America thinks about Italian cooking, link up with one of the biggest pop stars in the world who grew up cooking and eating those same meals. Honestly, it’s a match made in pasta heaven. Buon Appetito.
Potential Name of Show: Che Figata! (English Translation: Cool or Awesome)
Who: Anthony Bourdain and DJ Khaled
Why They'd Work: Talk about a major key alert. This is what happens when you put the most familiar face in the food world with the most familiar face of Snapchat together. Both Bourdain and Khaled have music in common. Bourdain is the son of a famous music industry executive and Khaled is a well-known DJ and music producer, who currently has the world chanting, “I got the keys.” And clearly, Bourdain has the keys to what makes a good dish, as he travels to different, exotic locales for his smorgasbord of TV shows. Oddly, you know what else the “bad boy” chef and "We the Best" music boss have in common? Waffle House. The chain restaurant is now one of Bourdain’s favorites, and Khaled just shared a Waffle House takeover on Instagram in late September for fans. If nothing else, the two could bond in the kitchen over their huge success and the All-Star Special breakfast.
Potential Name of Show: Mogul Talk
Who: Rachael Ray and Beyoncé
Why They'd Work: One’s known for her shortcuts, simplicity to cooking, and her famous Cheeseburger Mac ‘n’ Cheese. The other really doesn't do simple and can’t cook to save her life, except boxed Hamburger Helper (don't ask how I know, I just do). So, it’s possible a one-dish ground beef and pasta meal could bring two of the most successful business women together in the kitchen. They share a mutual friend (Oprah!) and accomplishment: Both have coined and popularized catchphrases that ended up in the dictionary. Ray’s “EVOO” (extra-virgin olive oil) was added to The Oxford American College Dictionary in 2007, and Beyoncé’s “bootylicious” was added in 2004.
And who wouldn’t love to see Rachael Ray and Beyoncé’s playful cooking banter while stirring and chopping? A “flawless” and "swag sauce" here, a “yum-o” or "entréetizer" there. All about it. I can imagine Rachael kicking the first episode off, while the pasta boils to a nice al dente bite, with, “So Beyoncé, about that whole Becky with the good hair and Rachel Roy mix up? Not cool, dude. Not cool.”
Potential Name of Show: Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner?
Who: Gordon Ramsay and Kanye West
Why They'd Work: Okay, so hear me out on this one. Both Gordon and Kanye are outspoken, passionate about what they do, have inflated egos (arguably legitimate), and an extreme case of potty mouth. That being said, absolute life would be given from these two trading barbs and expletives over a hot stove. Gordon would demonstrate his perfect technique on skinning and deboning a fish. Kanye, in all his artistic brilliance, would find a way to plate the finished salmon fillet in a way we’ve never witnessed. The drawback, of course, is Kanye spending 20 minutes ranting about his plating genius. If anything, I’d tune in just to hear Kanye deliver his famous interruption, “Yo, Gordon, I’m really happy for you. I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best flank steaks of all time! One of the best steaks of all time!” Cue the simultaneous mic and knife drop!
Potential Name of Show: F**k Off!
Who: Roy Choi and Miley Cyrus
Why They'd Work: He’s the godfather of food trucks and Korean-style tacos. She’s the queen of TMI and artists I wish would never ever be associated with twerking again. But, I paired the two up because of their fight against homelessness and hunger. Miley Cyrus started the Happy Hippy Foundation to fight the rising number of young people living on the streets, and had this to say in Elle magazine’s October 2016 issue: "I will never do a red carpet again. Why, when people are starving, am I on a carpet that's red? Because I'm 'important'? Because I'm 'famous'? That's not how I roll.” By that same token, Roy Choi gave his “A Gateway to Feed Hunger: The Promise of Street Food” speech during the 2013 MAD Symposium. There, he discussed how the world’s famous chefs only feed privileged communities: “We lie to ourselves that food is accessible to everyone. It's not true, you guys." Roy certainly has no qualms about serving street food that isn’t too fancy, and Miley definitely marches to the beat of her own drum, like this taco costume she wore in 2014 that just might make the Los Angeles taco king smile.
Potential Name of Show: Street Food & Bangerz
Who: Ina Garten and Taylor Swift
Why They'd Work: This food-iverse coupling isn't as strange as the others, seeing as how Ina and Taylor have cooked together before and are fans of each other. Still, I think it'd be fun to see them pair up on serial TV to prepare more than just Ina's famed mustard-roasted fish. And let's not forget how they both bring their romantic relationships into their profession. Ina has just released her cookbook, Cooking for Jeffrey, which is full of the recipes she's made for him over the years. And, well, Taylor is known for penning quite a few hit records about her ex-boyfriends. But maybe Ina, who has been married for nearly 50 years to Jeffrey, could give Taylor some solid relationship advice while they toss a few old-fashioned whiskey sours back and chomp on her most popular Food Network recipe, the Balsamic Roasted Beet Salad. How's about that for squad goals???
Potential Name of Show: Barefoot Girl Squad
Should any of these duos come to pass, remember you read it here first. For now, though, I just have to look forward to getting
baked...er um...I mean watching Martha and Snoop bake potluck classics with their special guests each week!