Charcoal ice cream, mushroom tea, rainbow-everything: Nicole lets us know how she really feels about the latest food trends.
  - - So when did all these young, hip people become the authority on food? Between Instagram, Facebook, and just walking around the office place, I hear all sorts of crazy foods that I've never heard of before, so today I'm gonna look into some of these new food trends. Coco-Roons, everything has to have coconut in it. I mean these'll prob'ly be pretty good. I mean, they're okay, but I'm just really glad they're organic, gluten-free, vegan, paleo, and non-Gmo, phew! Rainbow cakes, rainbow everything, rainbows, unicorns, I don't get it, I mean, tired of the rainbows, and I'm really tired of seeing 20 and 30-something year-olds dressed like Rainbow Brite. Mushroom elixir? That sounds like medicine; it sounds completely disgusting to me. Maybe if I envision that I'm drinking soup. Ew, just eat a mushroom people, it tastes better than it smells, ew, it kinda burns goin' down. I think it's just cool if you say you drink mushroom tea. I drink mushroom tea now. Oh yeah, I've seen this one, the ultimate milkshake, over the top, kinda makes me want to throw up a little bit. The amount of sugar that is in one, ugh, I can't even imagine, I have yet to buy my kids one of these, hashtag worst mom. Ew, okay, jerkies, I can get on board with the bison, this'll prob'ly be okay. Salmon maple jerky, ugh, and I'm gonna venture to guess that these are prob'ly like five dollars a piece. What happened to the Slim Jims for a dollar fifty? Mmm, this one's pretty good, not worth five dollars, but better than a Slim Jim; this one has salmon, oh, guess what's in it, coconut oil, in everything. Smells a little bit like a cat treat. Ew, next. Everything costs so much; when I was hip and cool, and there was a time I was, believe it or not, I didn't have this kind of money. I definitely was not going out and buying five dollar beef jerkies and ten dollar coffees, what's wrong with you people? Nitro cold brew coffee, I've heard about cold brews, nitro brews, so you're s'posed to drink it out of a can? Do you shake it? I feel like it's like a Guinness. It's okay, I mean, I don't know what else to say about it. The leftover coffee from the coffeepot, stir a little sugar in it, and put it in the fridge. And then you just pour it over ice. That's iced coffee. I would need to walk around the farmer's market with my nitro cold brew on a Saturday morning. Do I look cooler? No, 'cause I'm not even holdin' it right, you gotta be like. I don't believe that all these people really think all these things taste that much better. I just think it's cool. I mean it's much better than if they were walkin' around with the Boone's Farmwhen they're not 21. Or you could prob'ly make a good cocktail outta that. What is this, black ice cream? - [Voice Offscreen] Charcoal ice cream. - Charcoal, people, charcoal's for grillin'. Oh yes, don't forget about our friend kombucha. We make popsicles with it, we make drinks, we make soups, we wash our faces with it, I'm prob'ly the only one in America that's never tasted it. Why do we drink kombucha? For our healthy gut. Was everyone's gut unhealthy like 20 years ago? Today everyone's gotta have the healthiest gut, ever. All that stuff that sits at the bottom, that's disgusting. Ew, ew now it's floated to the top. It's not as bad as it thought it was gonna be. If I know for a fact that this is gonna make me so much healthier, then this, of all these hip food trends, might be one I will incorporate, but I might strain it first. Ew, did you just see that? What I've discovered first and foremost about hip new food is that it costs a lot of money. And you know how I feel about that. Some are tasty, some not so much. I do appreciate the fact that I can pronounce and read like every ingredient. For that, you got somethin' right, you cool people. Mom vs. Pinterest Birthday Party
Mom vs. Rainbow Cocktail
Mom vs. Easy-Bake Oven

June 25, 2018

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