No one can stop you

By Tim Nelson
January 13, 2020
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Though adulthood usually gets a bad rap, it is not without some occasional perks. For example, you can buy as much candy as you want, pretty much whenever you want. Neither your dad nor your dentist can stop you from sitting down and eating pounds of gelatinous sugar to your heart’s content.

With that in mind, you should know that it’s now entirely possible to purchase a mammoth five-pound bag of original Sour Patch Kids gummies coated in a treacly, sour dust. All it takes is just a few clicks on Amazon, which suggests that Jeff Bezos doesn’t really care whether or not you eat healthily in 2020.

So what exactly will you find in a five pound bag of Sour Patch Kids? Glad you asked. Evidence suggests the bag features 57 total servings of 16 Sour Patch Kids pieces, adding up to a total of 912 pieces of face-puckering candy. Assuming an even distribution of Lemon, Lime, Cherry, Orange, and Blue Raspberry flavors, you’re getting about 182 of each.

As you might expect, a sour candy deal like this has received some pretty sweet reviews from candy lovers. So far, it’s garnered upwards of 775 reviews, with an average of four stars.  Best of all, a deal like this will only set you back $14.50 for a one-time purchase, which comes out to about 1.5 cents per individual Sour Patch Kid.

If you like shredding your taste buds on a routine basis, you can even set this five-pound bag up as a recurring order. In all but extreme cases, this is probably medically (or at the very least dentally) inadvisable. But, again, nobody can stop you from hoarding a bunch of five-pound bags of Sour Patch Kids if you really have your heart set on doing that. Honestly, go for it and be a legend.

Amazon

To buy: $14.50, amazon.com

 

 

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