It’ll at least feel like going outside.

By Tim Nelson
April 08, 2020
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With Americans increasingly facing down the prospect of spending at least some of their summer held inside against their will, it’s entirely likely we’ll try to compensate by latching onto nostalgic signifiers of summer from the comfort and safety of our air conditioned homes.

If you’re looking for a way to both revive childhood memories while dampening your ability to form new ones via alcohol, you’re going to want to get a hold of Seagram’s Escapes’ new Italian Ice-themed variety packs. These combine the sugary taste and bright colors of Italian Ice (also known as  “Wooder Ice” in the greater Philadelphia area) with a small dose of otherwise-undefined malt alcohol.

Each twelve pack features an even split of three different fruity flavors: Cherry, Blue Raspberry, and Lemon. Combined, these neon-looking drinks form the colors that make up the American flag, offering a vague connection to patriotism and the Fourth of July. It also only weighs in at 3.2 percent alcohol by volume, meaning you could probably get away with drinking one or two during a Zoom call for work and nobody would notice.

In case you weren’t already hip to Seagram’s Escapes, they’re a line of fruity beverages from the Canadian brand known for its whiskey and ginger ale. They come in a rainbow of colors, including one tropical rosé-themed option created in partnership with The Bachelor host Chris Harrison for some reason.

Who knows what this summer will have in store for us. We’ll either all be ecstatic to be back out in the world, or else still stuck inside but sweatier. Either way, get some sweet booze like this up in the mix. It’ll at least feel like going outside.