Seriously, let’s chill with the whole “food bouquet” thing.


Valentine’s Day is a stressful time for both partnered people hoping to impress their significant other and their single friends whose President’s Day plans have been held hostage by the fact that this year’s V Day lands on the Friday of a long weekend. If you’re in the market for a gift, you might be considering a unique and lovely bouquet for your baby. Weirdly, many restaurants and food brands seem happy to oblige.

But all the doughnut, candy, and even meat and cheese bouquets of the world have nothing on this ridiculous Boston Market offering that shows we’ve gone way too far with the whole concept.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the fast casual chain debuted a limited-edition and largely unnecessary bouquet of a dozen “BAE-by Back Ribs”, perfect for accidentally dousing your date with barbecue sauce and ruining one of their favorite articles of clothing. From the look of it, it’s exactly what it says it is: a dozen ribs arranged vertically, resembling a bunch of meat flowers.

So why is Boston Market giving you the chance to carry ribs in an inconvenient fashion? Beyond the fact that every food brand is seemingly required to offer a bouquet of their product this February, it seems to have happened because these ribs are a relatively recent addition to the chain’s menu.

“We just launched Baby Back Ribs a few weeks ago and our guests are loving them,” Boston Market director of culinary innovation Tony Fialho said in a company press release. “when packaged in a delectable bouquet, they're the picture perfect Valentine's Day gift to help anyone delight – and feed – that special someone.”

I’d instead argue that this bouquet is a sign that we need to kind of cool it on the “food bouquets” for a bit. I get the appeal of an Edible Arrangement, since you’re not straying too far from the aesthetics of a flower. But at this point, things have gone way, way too far. Anyone can bundle a bunch of the same food together and call it a bouquet. But it’s really just a more inconvenient way to hold food, and the food bouquet concept is rapidly approaching oversaturation. The madness simply must be stopped.

So, sure: if you’re in love with someone who loves ribs, by all means grab a bouquet of them. But wouldn’t it just be easier and more romantic to go eat some BBQ together? At least you can get a to-go box for any excess ribs in that case.