Pasta Straws aren’t real pasta, but they’re close enough.

By Tim Nelson
Updated September 03, 2020
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Admit it: at one point or another while making penne, you’ve stared at an uncooked piece of the tubed pasta and wondered what it would be like to just kind of munch on it as a crunchy snack.

Credit: @eatpastasnacks

@eatpastasnacks

Well even if you haven’t seriously pondered eating a raw piece of penne (I admire your restraint), you might want to know about a brand called Pasta Snacks, who (fittingly enough) are responsible for a new series of “Penne Straws” that are, in fact, edible.

Before you ask, no: Pasta Snacks did not manage to magically transform your standard-issue penne into something that’s edible in its raw form. Instead, they fashioned lentils and white beans. While that might lead some to regard them as inauthentic, it’s worth pointing out that these Penne Straws are gluten free. Just saying.

But while Penne Straws might not literally be pasta, most of the flavors here definitely recreate the “pasta experience”, if you will. Between Marinara, Mac ‘n Cheese, Lemon Garlic, and Sweet Pepper, Penne Straws cater to almost every way that one could enjoy their tubular carbohydrates. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s even a sweet cinnamon churro flavor, marking the first time in history that “pasta” could function as a dessert. Based on the available photo evidence, it looks like each variety is pretty amply seasoned.

If you’ve always dreamed of treating penne as a finger food, you can buy six-ounce bags of Penne Straws from Pasta Snacks’ website, where they’re also sold by the dozen or half-dozen. So buy up a bunch and start eating these like they count as a full meal, because wy not. Just don’t tell your Italian grandmother.