If...you want that?

By Tim Nelson
December 23, 2019

Have you ever thought “gee, this soda sure tastes great, but I wish I could rub it all over my body without turning into a sticky mess”? I’m guessing most rational people probably haven’t. But if your dream is to bathe in Mountain Dew, then oh boy is today your lucky day.

That’s because the PepsiCo brand of sugar water marketed to gamers and extreme sports athletes is now available as “Mountain Dew Body Wash Blast,” which is different from popular Taco Bell soda fountain option “Mountain Dew Baja Blast” in the sense that you probably shouldn’t try to drink this stuff.

The inspiration for this very real product was Reddit. User u/Woopdeedo photoshopped a bottle of homemade Mountain Dew Body Wash Blast and posted it to the website in 2017. It’s received 169 upvotes to date, which is probably a lot less fake internet points than you could get for posting a photo of your pet with a goofy caption. Two years later, Mountain Dew apparently decided that it was worth turning that digital art into a very real product that contains actual Mountain Dew.

For the sake of disclosure, I received this product from Mountain Dew. I can confirm that it does indeed smell like the “Intense Citrus” referenced on the bottle. However, I cannot confirm or deny if it offers “Bold kickass confidence,” because I found the concept of a soda-themed body wash unsettling.

For better or worse, it doesn’t seem like this thing will actually go on sale to the public. Only 250 were made and distributed, which means I’m potentially some kind of monster for discounting the value of the strange gift given to me. Alas, Mountain Dew’s Body Wash Blast will likely be relegated to your dreams. Or nightmares. It’s just a shame that those who might love the product the most won’t have the excuse to take that shower they so desperately need.  

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