What does breakfast even mean anymore?

By Tim Nelson
May 15, 2020
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UPDATE: May 15, 2020

In a press release, Hometown Food Company revealed that Funfetti cereal will hit shelves in August. Boxes will cost between $3.50 and $5.50, depending on store location.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE: April 29, 2020

For us non-essential folks, quarantine life has induced a state of existence in which the when, what, why, and how of eating have ceased to matter entirely. If you want to have salted caramel-flavored Eggo waffles for lunch at 4 PM, nothing and no one can really.stop you. 

Maybe that explains why we’ve reached a point where a Funfetti-themed cereal exists.

As indicated by the seemingly omnipotent @CandyHunting, this cereal “should be out soon,” at least via Walmart, who already have the product listed on their website (though it’s not yet in stock). The box describes this rainbow-speckled puff cereal as “bursting with fun,” which frankly sounds pretty appealing at a time like this.

Believe it or not, a Funfetti-themed cereal may not be as out of left field as you’d think. Beyond its obvious presence in cake mixes, you can now find Funfetti as a type of edible cookie dough and even coffee creamer. So in essence, the introduction of Funfetti cereal just makes it possible to have a completely unbalanced breakfast based around a flavor of cake.

So if you’re sick of your existing cereal rotation and you want to eat something that truly indicates you’ve given up on any lingering concern for starting your day with a healthy breakfast, you know where to turn. Just don’t be surprised if it’s hard to find because everyone else has the exact same idea.