The hanger is real.
You’re standing in line at your local fast food joint, around 10:30 PM, waiting for your cheeseburger and fries like a perfectly normal human being. There’s a cranky man behind you who seems especially grumpy about his wait time, but you think nothing of it. After all, you’re hungry too.
Other people in line start to notice grumpy man’s behavior, which has escalated to full-on aggression. Enraged guy (as we’ll call him now) is clearly out of control. One person tells him to calm down, and another—let’s call him John—suggests he cancel his order altogether.
Enraged guy doesn’t like this suggestion. He follows John outside. Then through the window, you see him headbutt—yes, headbutt—John, who then hits the ground hard. Enraged guy doesn’t stop there. He starts throwing punches, and when bystanders try to intervene, he picks up a large traffic cone—and hurls it straight at John!
Police quickly break up the altercation, but you’re completely shellshocked. All of this, just because an order was taking too long?
Hanger—the state of being hungry and angry—is real, and shockingly enough, so is this story. In fact, it happened just this past week at a fast food restaurant in Kingston, Ontario. According to a Kingston police report, the assailant (a.k.a enraged guy) was triple charged with “assault with a weapon, assault, and utter threats.” A report in Global News, a Canadian news outlet, suggested the man may have been impaired or “under the influence of some substance,” but it has not been confirmed.
No matter how much you love fast food, a rageful outburst over a single order is simply not normal. Just two days later, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported another incidence of erratic behavior at a Chick-fil-a drive-thru in Atlanta. Three women in the line vacated their cars, started punching each other and pulling on each other’s hair. A video account shows one woman pointing a gun towards another woman involved in the fight. Thankfully, she never fired the gun (and no one was hurt). Police arrested the gun-toting woman and charged her with aggravated assault.
The cause of the fight is unclear—but if you’ve ever tried to fight the lunch rush at the Chick-fil-a drive-thru line, then we wouldn’t be shocked if hanger played a role here.
Unfortunately, the insanity doesn’t end at the drive-thru window. In more fast food news this week, popular American fast food joint In-N-Out is suing Down N’ Out, a burger restaurant in Sydney, Australia, for copyright infringement. Yes, there’s the not-so-subtle play on In-N-Out’s name. But there’s also plenty of blatant riffs on popular In-N-Out menu items, namely the option to order any burger “Animal Style.” Down N’ Out calls their verion, “Tiger Style.” According to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald, the aptly named “legal bun fight” could take more than a year to resolve.
Truly, we live in a strange world—and frankly, weird $#*& happens every day. But given these recent incidents of fast food fury, you’d think we were in the midst of a full moon. Either way, the next time your fast food order takes a little longer than normal, just remember—it’s never acceptable to bonk someone on the head with a traffic cone. No one wants to make news for acting like an animal, so please—keep your hanger in check.