Just drink your booze like a normal adult

By Tim Nelson
October 31, 2019
Sergey_Moskvitin/Getty Images

Despite what someone in a fedora and a trench coat might’ve told you, vaping isn’t as cool as it looks. That’s not to mention the recent health scares inspired by bootleg THC cartridges and overzealous teens with Juul pods. Still, vaping those sorts of things seem downright safe compared to an odd contraption that was recently confiscated from a bar in rural Minnesota. 

Recently, Minnesota Department of Public Safety officials confiscated a device from a Dakota county bar that essentially allows you to vape alcohol.

The bar’s owner bought the (unbeknownst to them) illegal Alcohol MIST contraption after learning of it from a fellow bar owner from Wisconsin, the state that probably leads the nation in creative and potentially dangerous ways to consume alcohol. According to its maker’s website, it “fills serving balloons with a fine mist containing micro-droplets of liquid alcohol ready to be enjoyed.” 

If by “enjoyed” they mean “not metabolized by the liver,” then yeah, sure. First spotted as a dangerous trend in the early 2000’s, smoking/vaping alcohol is supposedly a way to get drunk while ingesting far fewer calories. But with the booze going straight to your brain and bloodstream from your lungs, you can get insanely drunk in a very short period of time. Consequently, the likelihood of getting alcohol poisoning is much, much higher than it would be even compared to normal reckless drinking. 

 

I mean, think about it: if vaping alcohol was even a remotely good and safe idea, you can bet that Juul or some other opportunistic e-cigarette company would’ve brought alcohol cartridges to market by now. As someone used to paying New York bar prices, I’ll admit that the idea of a $3 “VAP SHOT” is tempting. But given that vaping alcohol is both unhealthy AND makes you look like a tool, the wise move is to just get drunk the same way humanity has been doing for thousands of years. 

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