Fight pumpkin spice with whiskey?

Denny's Reveals Its Han Solo-Themed Menu for the 'Star Wars' Spinoff
Credit: Courtesy of Denny's

The days are getting a little shorter. The youths are headed back to school. Starbuck is about to foist Pumpkin Spice Lattes upon us. That’s right: fall is almost here.

In the absence of any marketable holidays for a few months, brands are churning out vaguely fall flavors of in the hopes of convincing us to enjoy their mediocre food while perhaps wearing a vest or flannel shirt. But only Denny’s has the temerity to survey the landscape of autumnal tastes and think “bourbon”, which seems to be exactly what they’ve done.

Do you want bourbon for breakfast? Well go right on ahead, because the new Apple Bourbon Pancake Breakfast at Denny’s, a place people usually go to after drinking a lot of bourbon, is waiting for you. What is it? Glad you asked. It’s two flaxseed, cinnamon and brown sugar pancakes drenched in a caramel apple walnut bourbon sauce. So if you’re worried about bourbon overload, it’s good to know that there are other flavors alongside it.

Watch: How to Make Mint Sorbet with Bourbon

If you feel the need to class up your bourbon-based breakfast by adding an international yet decadent twist, the Apple Bourbon Crepe is your ticket. The thing is a crepe (fancy!) that’s topped with both ice cream and an apple walnut bourbon sauce. Look, if you’re going to order something that tastes like booze for breakfast, you might as well be fully shameless and throw in some dessert as well.

But why stop your bourbon party once breakfast is over? Luckily, you can keep the party going with bourbon-infused meats. That’s because Denny’s is reviving their Bourbon Bacon Burger, which is notable in that it has what their menu only describes as a “cheddar bun”, slathered in bourbon sauce, which I assume you can chug to wash down the actual bourbon you snuck into Denny’s in a flask. There’s a Bourbon Chicken Sizzlin’ Skillet if you love bourbon but are concerned about the impact that cattle ranching has on incentivizing the rapid deforestation of the Amazon.

So yeah: if you equate fall with an excuse to get blasted on bourbon and also want to eat some food, head on down to your local Denny’s ASAP, as these items are available for a limited time only. The experience is sure to be just slightly more debauched and decadent than it normally is. Now THAT is a grand slam.