Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. 

By Tim Nelson
August 26, 2019
Twitter

If there’s one thing social media is useful for besides photos of people’s pets and children, it’s those overhead cooking videos featuring a mostly-unseen person making something delicious. These dishes can often be unique and decadent, allowing even the most hopeless chefs can enjoy the vicarious thrill of seeing a cheeseburger get deep-fried or whatever. 

But recently, one such cooking video making the rounds on the internet feels like it ventures into truly absurd—some might even say disturbing—territory. I’ve watched it four times now and I still don’t even really understand what’s happening. It’s two minutes and 20 seconds of cooking in the age of social media carried to its logical conclusion. At three different points I thought “OK, that’s enough cooking, surely this must be done now” only to have things get even weirder.  

If I had to name the food created in this video (which, admittedly, is presented with no context), I’d describe it as a deep-fried barbecue chicken pepperoni pizza quesadilla, I guess? I’m not sure if that’s the right order of words, because the truth is that there’s really no perfect way to describe a meal that seems like it was dreamed up by Guy Fieri on an ayahuasca vision quest. I was going to count the ingredients it takes to make this thing, but lost track somewhere around 26. You’ll need an oven, a stove (or a deep frier if you want to get real weird with it), and a grill at various points. If you intend to actually make this thing, you’re basically going to have to plan your whole day around it. 

Given that my brain just short-circuited when I imagined tasting this deep-fried barbecue chicken pepperoni pizza quesadilla (with side ranch-like dipping sauce!), I have but one main question: is this thing any good? Sure, an insanely guilty pleasure meal like this is made of components that taste good on their own, but is the combination of barbecue chicken and pepperoni pizza flavor divine or disgusting? In the abstract, at least, it defies any easy comprehension. 

Well, I’ll probably never find out because I’m not gonna go through all the trouble it takes to prepare the deep-fried barbecue chicken pepperoni pizza quesadilla. It is a feat of food engineering. It’s also the closest we’ll get to someone inadvertently recreating Taco Town’s pizza crepe taco pancake chili bag. But it is above all, an abomination. If you possess the hubris required to make this dish, godspeed.  

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