It sure takes more effort than flashing a fake ID. 

By Tim Nelson
July 16, 2020
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To a certain extent, living through a pandemic sucks regardless of your age or demographic. But outside of vulnerable senior citizens, there’s no age group having less fun right now than 17-20 year-olds. As if being cut off from your friends and stuck with your parents wasn’t bad enough, many are staring down the possibility of yet another remote college semester with all of the student loans and none of the usual fun.

But because Zoomers are savvier and more creative than they get credit for, some of them have figured out a way to acquire alcohol that—while still illegal—you kind of have no choice but to to tip your cap to. According to the New York Post (a newspaper that enjoys ruining things), some youths are dressing up as mask-wearing senior citizens in order to score booze before their 21st birthdays without even flashing a fake ID.

You see, teens have realized that masks make it much harder to see someone’s youthful face when it comes time to ring up an alcohol transaction. That’s inspired some to go the extra mile, walking into liquor stores sporting walkers, wigs, and impressive makeup work that’s made these Zoomers look more likely to have an AARP card than a student ID.

ERIC THOMAS/Getty Images

As with all things these days, the proof is (or at least was) on TikTok. In a series of now-private or deleted videos (again, Post coverage ruins everything), these makeup artists and costume designers in training posted their outfits and their hauls, expressing incredulity that the scheme worked. As the comments on one TikTok post allegedly revealed, one store owner was worried that an “old lady” wouldn’t be able to carry out the bottles of booze herself.

While I should probably add the obvious disclaimer that acquiring alcohol this way remains illegal, you at least have to respect that today’s generation is at least putting more (visible) effort into underage drinking. Besides, if a liquor store employee rings up a “senior citizen” buying a plastic handle of vodka and a bunch of Four Loko cans without batting an eye, there’s definitely some blame to go around.