Cheez-Its Has Hidden a Secret Snack Bunker Somewhere In the Country
Admit it: at one point or another, you’ve thought about what you’d do during the apocalypse. Would you embrace the inevitability of death and go out in a blaze of hedonistic glory, or would you retreat to your underground bunker where you’ve meticulously stored all of the supplies you need to ride out extinction and reconstitute society?
What if this was instead a false dichotomy? That’s what Cheez-It asks us to consider with their latest promotion for Cheez-It Snap’d, a new product offering that a press release describes as “super thin, crispy, munchable snack with real cheese inside and out.” Fearing an “impending cheese shortage” (almost certainly fabricated), the brand has decided to stockpile a year’s supply of Cheet-It Snap’d in a bunker located somewhere within the United States.
"Our fans love a great snack and Cheez-It Snap'd offers them a completely new experience," Jeff Delonis, senior director of marketing for Cheez-It, said in the press release. "After seeing the snack fly off shelves, we wanted to ensure Cheez-it Snap'd were kept safe for our biggest cheese-loving fans."
In essence, anyone who loves Cheez-Its enough to dedicate their life to a post-apocalyptic loot quest can follow a series of clues that will potentially lead them to a bunker containing a year’s supply of Cheet-It Snap’d snacks. The bunker also contains a flat-screen television and a yearlong streaming service subscription. How there’s going to be a WiFi signal in whatever decomissioned subway tunnel, remote forest, or nuclear fallout zone the bunker is located in is anyone’s guess.
In order to track down the bunker, one will have to follow clues posted to Cheez-Its’s Twitter account starting on May 14th. There are some other rules, but it essentially seems like whoever finds the bunker first gets the spoils. Hopefully two people don’t converge on the bunker at the same time, because I don’t know if I see that ending well.