That's one way to think about stocking stuffers.

By Tim Nelson
November 20, 2019

Stocking stuffers are mostly an afterthought, used to fill space and satisfy some basic holiday tradition. No matter how they’re decorated, Christmas stockings are themselves a mere vessel for temporarily storing small trinkets, candy, and other useless objects forgotten and discarded by the time the ball drops.

But what if the Christmas stocking could be a cooler stocking instead? That’s precisely the premise behind the Buschhhhh [sic] Cooler Stocking, the only thing you can hang by a fireplace that will keep your beer from getting hot. In fact, this five-foot-long, insulated, flannel-patterned stocking is capable of keeping up to twelve beers colder than a polar bear’s toenails.

For the folks at Anheuser-Busch that thought this was a winning idea, the Cooler Stocking is an attempt to turn the time-honored tradition of stocking stuffers into something that people might actually make use of.

“We know the holidays are a time when people both give and receive a ton of gifts, so the last thing they want is a stocking full of useless items,” Daniel Blake, Senior Director of Marketing at Anheuser-Busch said in a press release. “For us and our fans, it’s all about bringing the cheer along with the beer. Now you can give a gift that will not only look great on the fireplace, but also keep your Busch Beer ice cold.”

Compared to most odd gifs out there, this thing is incredibly easy to use. You literally just hang it by the chimney with care via an included mounting hooks, and load ‘er up with twelve cold ones. It’s probably not a great look to be pounding brewskis out of this thing on Christmas morning, but it sure seems like a relatively useful holiday party accessory or Secret Santa gift. Sold for $20 at Busch’s online shop, it’ll be cheaper to fill than it is to buy.

So if you’ve ever felt a pressing need to own a festive cooler, consider your holiday wishes granted. Just don’t be surprised if Santa steals your beer.  

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