There are definitely worse ways to spend $13.

By Tim Nelson
January 06, 2020
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Though the 2010s were a trying and turbulent decade, we also found the answers to eternal, pressing questions over the course of the last 10 years. Namely, we now know why Applebee’s exists: to offer people deals on cheap drinks and food.

That trend looks to continue into the 2020s, and not even the rise of so-called “Veganuary” can stand in the way this time. That’s because Applebee’s recently announced a bevy of all-you-can-eat deals on various meat-based proteins for a limited time, offering a perfect way to eat less healthily but more economically in the new year.

If you find that Buffalo Wild Wings lacks a certain suburban strip mall je ne sais quoi, then you might want to gorge yourself on all-you-can-eat boneless wings at Applebee’s while watching playoff football. $12.99 gets you an infinite number of wings and zero bones, dipped in Applebee’s Classic Hot Buffalo Sauce with a side of ranch. Want any other sauces? Tough luck, because the promo only applies to literal buffalo boneless wings in this case. Hopefully the fact that each round of boneless wings you funnel into your gullet comes with a fresh round of fries and coleslaw will soften the blow a bit.

For buffalo wing purists who’d rather choke on a bone than eat a wing without one, there are other meat-laden options perfect for those with both a massive appetite and roughly $12.99 to spend on a meal. Specifically, you can feast on “Riblets,” which sound like a smaller version of normal ribs, served in a Honey BBQ sauce. There’s also a bottomless shrimp deal for the same price, in case you feel that going to Applebee’s for seafood is a good idea.

In related news, Applebee’s is serving up the Vodka Rum Frostbite, a vodka, rum, and blue curacao cocktail, for $1 as its first 2020 Drink of the Month. So for about $14 plus tip, you can start your year off with a meal that would ruin both Dry January and Veganuary in one fell, flavorful swoop. If you’re going to give up on your plans for leading a better life in 2020, you might as well do it in style.