I'm calling it now. The "IT" flavor profile of 2017 is gonna be: cheeseburger.

In recent years, we've witnessed the likes of Sriracha, matcha, turmeric, and rosé, commandeer the personality of every well established food item they could feasibly engage with, and I'm just gonna go ahead and say that in 2017, it's gonna be cheeseburger's moment to dominate. Ready yourself for the year of cheeseburger.

I know what you're thinking... But Darcy, you certainly don't have the authority to establish that. Well, friends, that may very well be true, but I have a strong feeling about this. I've seen it coming since Hamburger Helper released Cheeseburger Macaroni into the world, and I'm pretty damn good with gut instincts--trust me, in the words of Rafiki (a.k.a. the wise and totally psychic baboon overseer of Pride Rock who makes total sense to reference here in relation to my meaningful prediction about what force will reign over the future food landscape): It is time.

If you actually need further convincing (for one, you're quite the skeptic), let me introduce you to a handful of recipes that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the era of cheeseburger is upon us, and it's about to be awesome:


This is the recipe that started it for me--the certainty that cheeseburger would soon have its day. Beyond that, this salad's existence (reminder: I am talking about a cheeseburger-themed salad) is a beacon of hope for society... where a Cheeseburger Salad exists, so too must light and joy exist.


OK, so this tastes like what a chef with a tattoo of a pig (probably diagrammed into its various butcher cuts) on his arm would cook for a post-shift meal. It’s a bacon cheeseburger, with caramelized onions, served with fries and ketchup, wrapped in fluffy eggs... what I'm saying is it’s a highly legit cheeseburger riff experience. I can assure you, this beast of an entree is excellent at any hour of the day, at any sobriety level.


A golden-crisp egg roll stuffed with beef, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and mayo might actually be one of the best things that's happened in my life thus far. It tastes like a homemade, deep-fried Big Mac... Guy Fieri wishes he'd thought of this sh*t. (And yes, I do mean that to be a good thing right now.) Cheeseburger Egg Rolls are one of those things you must serve with both a sense of irony, as you smirk at the absurdity of it, as well as a sense of pride--because they're f*cking delicious.

Cooking Light's Cheeseburger Pizza

Two of life's purest pleasures, joined together in holy meal-imony. If your kids aren't stoked as hell when you drop this on the dinner table, I would highly advise you consider trading them for new ones. I bet the neighbor kids would be ecstatic if they had a parent anywhere close to cool enough to serve them a Cheeseburger Pizza on a random Wednesday night (which is totally doable considering it takes under 25 minutes to prepare).


It's tough not to love this one based on its title alone. But also, it has broccoli in it. How's that for an unexpected plot twist?


Just in time for Halloween, what more could you ever hope for? I hope that this pie that resembles a pumpkin, but in fact is not a pumpkin pie (because it's too happy and fulfilled being a cheeseburger pie!) brings you as much joy as it brings me.

By Darcy Lenz and Darcy Lenz