One minute, you are in a meeting/answering email/texting with the teacher/letting the garage doorman in—all at once—the next, you have Chick-fil-A crumbs on your shirt and a Coke in your hand. What the hell happened and how do you reign it back in?
Photo: Getty Images/Katarzyna Bialasiewicz
| Credit: Getty Images/Katarzyna Bialasiewicz

Guys, it’s 5 o’clock and I just realized I have drank zero ounces of water today and about 64 ounces of sugary caffeine. My anxiety level is rising as I type this, OMG that is really what I did to myself today. And the only vegetable I have eaten is a pickle on my fried chicken sandwich. How? Why? What do I do? What is wrong with me?

F*%k if I know; clearly I am drunk on sugar and regret, but conveniently not stressed anymore because I am too tired and sluggish to care. I will, however, care in about 2 hours… unless I just grab pizza for dinner and go to bed. Sounds like an avoidance plan I can get behind.

I actually know what I need to do. I am, after all, a professional food-with-a-capital-F person and I am 100% aware that what I need to do is take a deep breath, get up and walk around, drink some water, and have a vegetable forward dinner. (See Food professional, I used the phrase vegetable forward.) Oh, and forgive myself. ‘Cause I am so good at that one (unicorn cake leftovers, here I come…).

There has to be some sort of middle ground because, seriously, I am not really into feeling my feelings right now—I am busy. There has to be a better way.

I’m lucky in that I have access to certified dietitians (I know right, what the hell is wrong with me that I can’t get it together, I can talk to a DIETICIAN on Slack for crying out loud) and here is the advice they gave me and I will now share with you: Go with it today, start fresh tomorrow; and go home and feed your emotions through television instead.

Netflix, here I come. OK, and I will drink a glass of water.