People magazine recently named Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson as the sexiest man on the face of this planet right now...and naturally, my first thought was, "I want to make him dinner."
Photo: Getty Images/Jesse Grant

I understand that distinguished actor/former WWE champion/Canadian citizenship-holder Dwayne Johnson (a.k.a. The Rock) has a seemingly committed girlfriend. But he also has a voice of velvet, muscles for days, and the smile of a thousand rays of light--and I am only human. Even if he’s not exactly your “type,” I think we can all agree here that that this man is fine as hell. Which is why it comes as no surprise whatsoever that People would call him out as this year’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” and that I would want to make him a little congratulatory meal. Nothing too fancy, just something to say, “Hey, nice job on being really hot.” I show affection and admiration for everyone in my life by feeding them. And if The Rock were to somehow find his way into my life within the next few hours, this is what I would cook to pay homage to his great achievement and universally applauded attractiveness. Eh, who am I kidding, I might put The Scorpion King on and cook all of this tonight anyway.

Oysters with Pink Peppercorn Mignonette
Credit: Becky Luigart-Stayner; Styling: Sabrina Bone

We would start off with an elegant appetizer, Oysters with Pink Peppercorn Mignonette arranged artfully over rock salt. I'd also mix up a couple of Country Boys on the Rocks for us to wash down our shellfish, and prompt a natural transition into a highly amusing conversation about my southern heritage. I feel like Dwayne's the type of person who is going to find it really adorable when I say "ya'll."

Rock Cod Veracruzana
Credit: Annabelle Breakey; Styling: Robyn Valarik

We're going to stick with seafood for our entree to honor ma boy's island roots, so Rock Cod Veracruzana it is! And even though this dish is served over rice, I think we should also have a side of Rock Salt-Roasted Potatoes because I know that the sexiest man alive needs plenty of carbohydrates to fuel his sexiest man alive lifestyle.

Rock Cookies
Credit: Lee Harrelson; Styling: Jan Gautro

Finally, we're gonna shut this party down with double dessert: Rock Cookies and Rock Candy. Because a little extra sugar couldn't hurt, this is a celebration.

Should Dwayne happen upon this article at any point in the coming weeks, just know, the offer for a congratulatory dinner stands--solid as a rock.

By Darcy Lenz and Darcy Lenz