It's time to go rogue
Even if you live on a planet that doesn’t have two suns, mornings can still be rough. Who among us has not called upon the Force to pull us out of bed early—or bargained with the Dark Side for just a few more minutes’ shut-eye? In honor of the newest installment in the anthology—Rogue One: A Star Wars Story—hitting theaters, let the power of Star Wars inspire you to rise up and begin your day with a complete breakfast, or at least a piece of toast, a Death Star waffle, or an R2-D2-shaped hard-boiled egg that will make you smile.
Darth Vader Toaster
Usually, a toaster is an eyesore on your kitchen counter. Not this sweet-ass dark helmet! You put the bread in when it’s soft and smooth, it comes out crackly and slightly burned—kind of like what happened to Darth Vader’s actual head. You toast comes out with the Star Wars logo on one side and an image of the Sith Lord on the other—kind of like the Shroud of Turin, but evil and delicious with butter.
Darth Vader Toaster, $50, target.com
Star Wars Pancake Molds
Sure, there are YouTube videos of people making a flawless pancake Yoda, replete with eyebrows and wrinkles, but, really do you have the spoon/spatula skills for that? Even if the caffeine has kicked in? Better to let discretion be the better part of valor and use these handy silicone pancake molds. Choose whether you want to be a Stormtrooper, Darth, Yoda or R2-D2 this morning and let that batter flow.
Star Wars Pancake Molds, $20, williams-sonoma.com
Death Star Waffle Iron
It may have taken twenty years for the Empire to build their Death Star, but you can create you own in just a few minutes with the Death Star waffle iron. Be wary, though, and do not leave your waffle in the iron too long, lest it truly join the dark (and burnt) side. There are rumors that if one focuses the stream of one’s maple syrup on a certain spot on the Death Star waffle, it will implode into a mass of powdered sugar, but no one has found the plans yet.
Death Star Waffle Iron, $40, thinkgeek.com
Star Wars Hard Boiled Egg Mold
Because no one really likes hard boiled eggs but everyone loves them when they’re in the shape of R2-D2! Or C-3PO’s head, or a Stormtrooper, or Darth Vader… okay, those last two might be a little creepy. But you can also use them to make rice balls or Jell-O molds or whatever your little bento-loving heart desires.
Star Wars Hard Boiled Egg Mold, $8 each, $35 for all four, bentousa.com
Light Saber Immersion Blender
Do you find that your breakfast smoothie is lacking? Do you sense that the power of kale and spirulina no longer flows through you as it once did? Perhaps it is time to take your smoothie to the next level of the force with the Light Saber Immersion Blender. It will annihilate your foes and puree your strawberries.
Light Saber Immersion Blender, $50, signals.com
Fighting for the survival of the galaxy does wear on one. After a long day of translating from Huttese to Ewok, calculating the odds of survival and clattering down hallway trying to catch up, we do like to imagine C-3PO settling down for a nice cuppa. (Yes, we know robots can’t drink tea, but he’s not actually British either. Work with us here!) And, given that R2-D2 is such a surprisingly handy little fellow, it makes perfect sense that he would also be able to pour a nice pot of Earl Grey—or Count Dooku, as the case may be.
R2-D2 Teapot, $40, thinkgeek.com
Star Wars Dinnerware
If one wants to eat off of Star Wars plates, one usually has to settle for brightly colored plastic, adorned with whatever cut character the kids are into and shaped with little wells for your chicken nuggets and applesauce. However, if you want to eat like a adult and still be able to look at Boba Fett while you do so, Zak Designs has the classic characters and scenes rendered in stylish minimalist graphics on actual ceramic in everything from appetizer plates to ice cream bowls to coffee mugs.
Star Wars Dinnerware, $16-29 per set, zak.com