What Your Breakfast Says About Your Relationship
Did your partner make you breakfast this morning? This is what it means.
Have you ever wondered whether your significant other is keeping something from you? Do you frequently yearn to know what's going through your partner's mind? We’ve all been there. These things have a way of spilling out, but not in the way you may expect. Most people don't realize there's a very simple way to pick up on what your partner is trying to tell you—look no further than your breakfast tray. Much like our ancestors before us sought signs from the future by reading tea leaves, you too can pinpoint what’s on your partner’s mind by wading through cracked egg shells and cream cheese schmears. Consider this your handy guide.
Your relationship is still pretty new, and it’s nice that your partner hasn’t completely given up on trying to impress you just yet.
An egg white omelet with veggies
There are a lot of insecurities surrounding your relationship. Also, your partner is afraid to tell you that your stories about your friend’s Instagram-famous dog aren’t as interesting as you think they are.
Your partner suspects you are cheating and has been going through your phone each night after you've fallen asleep on the couch watching Bones. They have also never really liked your friend Laura.
Two eggs, over easy, with wheat toast
Your partner finds you boring, but reliable.
Huevos rancheros with chorizo
Your partner is hiding a smoking habit from you.
There’s a third party in your relationship of whom you’re blissfully unaware.
Yogurt with granola
You’ve left the shower curtain bunched up again, even though your partner has told you it will get mildew if you leave it like that.
A kale smoothie
As you feared, your partner has definitely noticed they’re in better shape than you are.
Your friends have been over this relationship since 2014.
Homemade coffee cake with a cinnamon crumble
Your partner has been trying for weeks to figure out who’s listed in your phone only as “Brian B.” They also know you still talk to your ex’s mother.
A fresh fruit bowl with a mint garnish
You have truly terrible morning breath.
An everything bagel with plenty of cream cheese
Your partner believes they aren’t good enough for you.
An everything bagel with almost no cream cheese
Your partner believes they’re too good for you.
A tofu scramble
Even though they claim otherwise, your partner is still convinced they can convert you to vegetarianism.
Delivery breakfast burrito
Your partner quietly resents the way you never, ever roll up the toothpaste tube.
Your partner secretly hates spending time with your family and is brainstorming ways to get out of next month’s vacation to Cedar Point.
You don’t handle criticism well. Btw, you snore like a bear.
Pancakes with three sausage links
Your partner has unwittingly become a meth kingpin and is growing increasingly concerned about when your DEA brother-in-law is going to find out.
Avocado toast with a soft-boiled egg
Your partner desperately wants you to know that you are, in fact, the first person to ever truly know and understand them, and accept all that goes along with that. It means a lot to them. Also, it would be great if you could start taking out the trash yourself now and then.
Eggs Benedict with fresh-squeezed orange juice
You are about to get dumped, 100%. Eat up.