Extra Crispy Staff

Why so mad guys, it's just "vrisket"

Tim Nelson
September 17, 2018

How do you know there’s a vegan at your party? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

At this point, those kinds of jokes about vegans and their sense of ethical superiority are about as stale as months-old gluten-free bread. And yet, derisive comments from carnivores still persist.

For example No. 112309854 of people on the internet being unnecessarily mean, just look at how Twitter’s meat eaters took Kevin Biegel to task when the TV writer showed off some vegan brisket he smoked recently.

There’s no way anyone could find this “mix of jackfruit, seitan, miso, beer, [and] Franklin BBQ sauce” that objectionable, right? Wrong. Biegel’s mentions are a treasure trove of triggered meat-lovers. “Vegans love spending every waking hour trying to make stuff taste like meat,” said some guy who totally could’ve gone about his day without spending his time being mad at one of the co-creators of Cougar Town.

Instead, that was just one of 700+ replies, many of which were as unnecessarily nasty (and comically stupid) as this one: “I freaking love the lengths you fruitloops go to in order to approximate meat,” said another person with too much time on their hands and a reflexive need to assert their carnivorous dominance. “Just have a salad.”

For what it’s worth, Biegel, god bless him, waded into the replies in order to clap back at some of the cave dwellers. In the process, he explained that his meat-free lifestyle was inspired by a push to eat healthier after a heart attack, rather than a desire to feel smug all the time. He “ha[s] to look for alternate forms of BBQ that are more in tune with, you know, staying alive.” Veganism may not be for everyone, but living without barbecue truly is a fate worse than death, so one can certainly understand where Biegel’s coming from.

Thankfully, a few folks had his back.

So there you have it. Not only is vegan brisket (Biegel decided to dub it “vrisket” in a follow-up tweet) a thing, its mere existence is enough to send meat-eaters into a frenzy. Sure, some vegans are insufferable, but meat eaters who go around yelling about bacon all the time are arguably even worse.

At the end of the day, whether you eat meat or not, be careful not to let social media turn you into the real animal.

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