Protect and serve (your bacon)
Of all the foods in the breakfast canon, bacon can be the messiest to make and the most delicious to eat. Thank god for this freaking bacon shield, which is the best bacon-related invention since bacon dust, or maybe even bacon itself. Finally, you’re safe from the potential of grievous bodily harm and a giant mess to clean every time you get a hankering for some bacon. The appropriately named Frywall stops bacon splatter and bears a passing resemblance to the cone your dog wears after getting fixed, but it’s made of flexible silicone and not hard plastic, so it's easy to clean. That means you can access the food you’re cooking with tongs—the only cooking implement you need!—without covering your hands, bare torso, and entire kitchen in imperceptible grease splatters.
All you do is wrap the Frywall around the edge of your pan, like you would with Señor Fuffyface to prevent him from licking his wounds after the vet, and cook your food as usual. The hot grease that would normally fly up and towards your face or your backsplash or your cup of coffee is contained by the cone. Everything's fine. Bacon, sausage, Taylor Ham, and whatever else you might throw in a skillet no longer has to be a nightmare to make.
If you’re of the mind that it’s ridiculous to purchase something specifically for cooking bacon, hear us out. Think of all the things you want to fry in a skillet but generally don’t, for fear of second degree burns and mess. Imagine the possibilities! All of the breakfast meats and most of the other meats are yours for the taking. Sure, there’s a simpler solution to this whole thing—instead of frying your bacon, you could bake it in the oven or plop it on a plate and microwave it, but where's the fun in that? The smell of bacon frying in the morning is one of the best things in the entire world and if you bake your meat, you miss out on saving the bacon fat for your biscuits or your eggs or whatever. Life is short. Fry the bacon, but use protection.