The Juicero can connect to the internet but it can't actually make juice
EC: This $400 Juicer Is Worse at Juicing Than Just Using Your Hands
Credit: Photo courtesy Juicero

If you're in the high-end appliance market, other than investing in a new Dolce & Gabbana toaster, you might also have had your eye on the Juicero, a $400 juicing machine that promised to be the Keurig of green juice. The idea is that you buy a Juicero, and several of the juice pouches, and you can enjoy your favorite cold-pressed juices from the comfort of your home instead of a loud juicery or Whole Foods or wherever it is you usually procure your juice. The problem is that, per a new report in Bloomberg, the Juicero is terrible at actually making juice. So bad, in fact, that using your own bare hands to squeeze the Juicero packets is way more effective than using the insanely pricer juicing implement they come with. Not only that, but squeezing by hand only took about 90 seconds, whereas the machine took two minutes to produce the same amount of juice.

"After the product's introduction last year, at least two Juicero investors were taken aback after finding the packs could be squeezed by hand," Bloomberg explains. "One of the investors said they were frustrated with how the company didn’t deliver on the original pitch and that their venture firm wouldn’t have met with Evans if he were hawking bags of juice that didn’t require high-priced hardware. Juicero didn’t broadly disclose to investors or employees that packs can be hand squeezed, said four people with knowledge of the matter."

Translation? Silicon Valley was selling a device that is pretty much useless. That's a big blow because Juicero managed to raise nearly $120 million in funding for the clunky device. They were supposed to be the Apple, the Uber, the Google of juicing. But instead, as one Verge reviewer noted over a year ago, it is way more cost effective just to buy your juice premade than to deal with a Juicero.