Thank/blame Luther Vandross
Drunkards, rejoice. There is a new source of artery-clogging decadence for your post-bar palates to enjoy. Walmart's "Great Value Donut Cheeseburger" dropped earlier this month, replete with American cheese, ground beef, and hot pepper berry bacon jam (and about 610 calories per serving). The doughnut-cheeseburger hybrid (not pictured above; that is a stock photo of a much better looking doughnut cheeseburger) dropped on Walmart's house brand's "Late Night Cravings" line, which should give you some indication that this monstrosity is a breakfast food in bun only. But then again, late night is kind of like early morning if you're an optimist who doesn't need to set boundaries or goals for yourself. Right? Right.
The Great Value Donut Cheeseburger is a take on the "Luther Burger," popularized by Cartoon Network's hit show The Boondocks. In the original version, the full pound patty was covered in cheese, grilled onion, and five strips of bacon, and sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. And, if Snopes to be believed, it might have been created by none other than soul singer Luther Vandross, who devised this #lifehack by substituting doughnuts when no hamburger buns could be found. Although Vandross' culinary claims are still ambiguous, the guy did write a song called "Never Too Much," so it seems plausible at the very least.
There are plenty of shops that now sell derivations of the Luther Burger, too. San Francisco's Straw restaurant has a menu item called The Ringmaster, which throws two patties onto its doughnut cheeseburger instead of just one. Washington, D.C.'s ChurchKey offers a brunch version of the burger, made with a fried chicken placed between a brioche doughnut with bacon and maple jus. But because they have some semblance of mercy, they only make 30 of these bad boys a day.
But unlike its namesake (and patron saint), Walmart's doughnut cheeseburger is anything but fantastic, according to a few enterprising food bloggers. First off, they're microwave-only, which didn't earn the dish high marks from the onset.
"It's not super terrible," said Connor of the Food Central TV YouTube channel, "And it's not good, either."
The Foodbeast team didn't have a ton of flattering things to say, either.
More rational people begged their fellow humans not to give into temptation.
So if you're feeling inspired, stoned, or masochistic, step right up and try out the Great Value Donut Cheeseburger. But first, get a physical and reevaluate how you got here.