How to Make It
In a food processor, grind the large bag of Doritos until completely pulverized. Measure out 2 cups and reserve the rest. Return to the food processor, along with the flour, and process on low for 30 seconds.
Add frozen butter cubes, and pulse until it resembles coarse meal, about 20 seconds.
Whisk together egg and water, and stream into the food processor while continuing to pulse. The dough should just barely come together. If it appears too dry and falls apart when you pinch some between your fingers, add a bit more water while pulsing.
On a large piece of plastic wrap, shape the dough into a disc, then wrap tightly and press out once more to ensure it comes together. Refrigerate for a minimum of 1 hour.
Place the chilled dough on a lightly floured surface and let sit for about five minutes. Roll out into a circle about ¼-inch thick and line a 9-inch pie plate, rolling the edges up and pressing together to form an outer crust. Refrigerate until completely firm.*
Place a sheet pan or cookie sheet in the oven, and preheat to 375°F.
Whisk eggs well so they turn pale yellow. While continuing to whisk, slowly pour in half-and-half until mixture is uniform. Add a pinch of salt and a few grinds of black pepper. Put the custard into a large liquid measuring cup, or another container with a pouring spout.
Scatter cooked bacon pieces and cheddar cheese evenly over the bottom of the crust. Without removing from oven, place the pie plate on the preheated cookie sheet, then slowly pour the custard evenly over the filling. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until it appears just barely set in the center and is still slightly jiggly. Cool for a minimum of 20 minutes if you’d like to serve it warm—otherwise, refrigerate until you are ready to serve.
Using a small spatula, frost the quiche with ketchup. Roughly crumble the small bag of Doritos and sprinkle over the top.
Serve on a platter garnished with additional Doritos flour at any temperature you damn well please. Quiche is cool like that.