How to Make It
Make one serving of your favorite porridge, the glummer the better. Oatmeal is probably the most spiritually appropriate, but feel free to indulge your whims if you have any left at this point.
Carefully open one capsule of activated charcoal. The powder has a tendency to blast everywhere, so consider doing this in a deep bowl, possibly while wearing gloves. Stir this into the porridge until it is a consistent, pleasureless gray. Season if you have the wherewithal. Eat it cold for maximum pathos.