Don't be mad
Credit: Coffeemate

There are many kinds of coffee lovers in the world. There's the single-source origin, burr grinder, Chemex-equipped kind. There's the kind who prefers a cheap cup of corner-store cup. And, of course, there are those who respect coffee as a grown-up vehicle for ingesting caffeine, dairy, and sugar. Sure, you can go without milk or sugar, but you could also swerve hard in the opposite direction and get a pump of caramel and one of vanilla and basically drink a delicious cake every morning. The thing about buying $3 candy coffees from Starbucks or Dunkin' is that they add up. But now there's a more inexpensive way to get your candy coffee fix: Coffeemates' new Snickers and Dove Chocolate creamers.

Yes, I got to try some. And yes, they taste exactly how you think they might. The coffee I made with the Snickers creamer acquired a pleasant caramel taste. The Dove creamer, flavored with chocolate and almond, turned a plain cup of coffee into something that tasted like a fancy mocha. Each 32-ounce bottle retails for $3.59, so you get your coffee candy fix for cheap and without even leaving the house.

Let's be clear: I'm not trying to convert you. If you're the kind of person who goes "eugh" at the idea of a Snickers coffee, well, don't pick up Snickers creamer, duh. It's not for you. Not everything has to be for everyone. If you're the kind of person who has a very specific Starbucks order that involves pumps and half-pumps of flavorings? Definitely give this a shot. But there's enough going on in the world without the sugar-lovers and the sugar-haters getting into a war. We still have a lot of 2018 left. Let us have Snickers creamer.