Don't listen to the banks, people!

By Maxine Builder and Maxine Builder
Updated February 13, 2018
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Credit: Photo by Claudia Totir via Getty Images

If you were on the fence about whether you should sign a mortgage in the month of July, SoFi is here to make that choice a little easier by offering a month of free avocado toast in exchange for buying a house. Because nothing says "Trust us to make a major, life-altering financial decision" to millennials quite like the offer of free avocado toast. According to a post on the personal-finance company's blog, "anyone who takes out a SoFi mortgage to purchase a home will receive a month's worth of avocado toast delivered to their door." The new homeowner will even get a choice between regular and gluten-free bread!

Now, as a millennial, I completely understand how the promise of free avocado toast in exchange for a mortgage seems like a great deal. I've also read the articles about how we won't be able to afford homes in the future if we keep on spending all our money on avocado toast and almond milk lattes. But signing a mortgage for a month of free avocado toast is objectively a terrible financial decision. Let's break down the numbers, shall we?

The average price for a single avocado in the United States during the week of May 14, 2017, according to the Hass Avocado Board, was $1.19. So let's round that up to $2 per avocado. You need 30 avocados to make a month of avocado toast, which is $60.

A one-pound loaf of artisanal sourdough bread from Boudin Bakery in San Francisco, California, where SoFi is based, costs $3.99. Let's say you go through a loaf of bread a week. You'll need four loaves of bread to make it through the month. That'll be about $16.

You can buy a bit more than a ½ pound of Maldon salt flakes on Amazon for $4.95, which should last you a month, as will a 2.15-ounce grinder of Tellicherry peppercorns from Jacobsen Salt Co for $10.90. A tin of 34 ounces of Spanish olive oil will run you $29.95 from Williams-Sonoma—and let's assume you love olive oil like you're Rachael Ray and so you'll go through two whole containers of the stuff over the course of the month.

That makes the total cost of making one slice of avocado toast a day for a month about $150—and that's assuming you're using the most high-end ingredients available. So basically, SoFi is offering a $150 rebate in the form of avocados and un-toasted bread in exchange for signing up to pay them hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars a month for the next, say, 30 years. And that number doesn't even include the cost of your labor and time involved to toast the bread, smash the avocado, and spread it on your toast.

Now, I'm no economist (though my mother does long for the day I go to business school despite my many attempts to explain to her that the threat of crushing student loan debt gives me anxiety), but this does not seem like a good deal. Don't listen to me, though. No one else seems to, especially when it comes to my financial security and economic future.