Now’s your chance to drink weird marshmallows
Some people love the taste of a good cup of coffee. Many others simply endure it. To them, the bean water is a mere caffeine-delivery system whose flavor should be obfuscated, sweetened, and otherwise adulterated as much as possible. Coffee creamer is a godsend for these sorts of cowards. But there’s a good chance even some of them would feel that a new pastel-tinted flavor additive takes the average creamer and bunny hops into the realm of absurdity.
If you couldn’t get the hint from that second-rate wordplay, you can now ruin your coffee by dumping Peeps® branded creamer into your morning cup. Created by International Delight, the same creamer company that's liquefied everything from the essence of Reese’s to Cinnabon for consumption in coffee, it’s an attempt to turn Easter’s most divisive candy into something drinkable.
As one might expect, this particularly festive (we’re reclaiming “festive” to apply to holidays beyond Christmas in 2019) flavor amps up the marshmallowy goodness that Peeps provide. Depending on your perspective, that’s either an ingenious way to sweeten up a cup of coffee or essentially poison it.
But the most distinct—and potentially divisive— feature of International Delight’s Easter offering has less to do with taste and more with aesthetics. That’s because not only does Peeps creamer incorporate the saccharine flavor of its namesake candy, but its color as well. This stuff is a pastel shade of yellow. Really. It’s a good way to “add a little color to your cup,” as the Instagram caption reads, but how well does an Easter shade and the dark brown of coffee mix? It’s hard to predict without an arts degree, but you may want to pour this coffee into a travel mug so you can avoid the potentially putrid shade of your morning cup if need be.
We’re still nearly two months away from the beginning of Lent, but an International Delight product listing says its Peeps creamer is “coming soon to most major retailers” and “only available for the Easter season.” That suggests Peeps fans probably have ample time to buy a bottle, see how they feel about it, and snatch up the remaining supply so they can guzzle liquefied marshmallows all year round. The rest of us will just forge on drinking coffee like normal human beings.