Rule no. 1 of robbing a Waffle House: wear pants

Waffle House
Credit: SeanPavonePhoto—Getty Images

I know what you’re thinking, and no, this did not happen in Florida.

Welcome to Tuscumbia, Alabama, where a pantless would-be burglar fell through the ceiling of a Waffle House after a botched attempt to break into the office of the restaurant.

I also know what you’re thinking: Wait, why was this guy pantless and how did he fall through the ceiling? Is there a connection between the two, or is it pure coincidence? Well, strap yourself in, because there’s a totally logical explanation for all of this.

“He was trying to break into the office of the restaurant by going through the ceiling of the bathroom,” said police chief Tony Logan in an interview with the Times Daily. “Apparently, he made a wrong step and he came down into the dining area.” Logan went on to say that the wannabe burglar used his pants to tie the door to the bathroom as a kind of makeshift lock to ensure no one would come in and foil his most excellent, foolproof plan.

After falling through the ceiling, the man wrestled out of the hands of vigilant Waffle House customers, jumped into his car, and led police on a chase before jumping out and running away. The owner of the pants (and driver’s license) has been ID'd as a 27-year-old Birmingham man named Wesley Glenn Bost, and he’s still at large.

“We have his car and we have his driver’s license and identification, which he left in his pants inside the Waffle House,” Detective Sgt. Wes Holland said.

Now, I may not be some fancy, big city detective, but have the authorities considered searching the closest pants store for Mr. Bost? I just feel like the first thing I’d do after a botched robbery in which my pants and car were left behind is steal a new pair of pants. You really don’t have too much to lose at that point, so why not? Anyway, Bost is currently wanted for first-degree criminal mischief and burglary, so if you know where he is, call the Tuscumbia sheriff's office.