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A roommate called the cops over meat thievery

Mike Pomranz
July 20, 2018

If you’ve ever lived with roommates (and well congrats to you if you never have!), you know that the kitchen is often the most contentious room in the house. Who hasn’t gotten into an argument over unwashed dishes or taking out the trash? The refrigerator is another massive can of worms, full of other people’s food waiting to be eaten and beers waiting to be drunk. Inevitably, you end up having to ask a roommate, “Hey, did you eat my meatballs in a drunken haze last night?” But before you do, you might want to take the temperature on their mood … lest you end up in a meatball-inspired scuffle.

According to WFMJ, on Tuesday, police in Youngstown, Ohio, were called to investigate after a woman said she was attacked by a housemate she accused of stealing her meatballs. Apparently, the victim came home to find someone she lived with cooking meatballs in the kitchen. The report then states that she “became extremely upset because she knows she is the only one in the house that had meatballs in the refrigerator,” before accusing the cook of “alleged meat thievery, insisting that they must be her meatballs.”

Tensions in this house appear to have been running pretty high because, according to the report, that was all the provocation necessary to cause the alleged meatball thief to also allegedly charge her housemate, strike her in the face and pull her hair. By the time police arrived, the meatball chef had left the scene, and attempts to find her might be quiet difficult: The victim apparently told the authorities that she doesn’t know the other woman’s last name, but that it might be “Bitch.” Of course, if they both happen to be legal tenants, the police could probably just take a gander at the lease agreement to double check whether that’s actually the case.

Despite seeing no visible evidence of any injuries on the victim, the police went on to tell the woman what she can do if she wants to press charges, WFMJ added. Though at the same time, as someone who has had roommates before, this kind of incident would appear – on the surface at least – to be the kind of thing you’d want to get the police less involved in. In some ways, housemate troubles are a lot like meatballs: Once they start to get really putrid, it’s probably best to just abandon the house they’re rotting in all together.

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