It's come back to roost, like a tangy, juicy swallow of Capistrano
McDonald’s hasn’t had an easy go of it recently. The multinational burger conglomerate suffered through a salad scare not too long ago, and downward trends in earnings, revenue, and store visits have pushed the company to step up its breakfast efforts. And in a further effort to boost sales, they’re bringing back an old friend.
That’s right: McDonald’s is smashing the emergency McRib button in order to bring fans of mystery pork out of their doomsday bunkers and into one of 9,000 participating locations across the United States.
The rubbery slab of meat slathered in a tangy barbecue sauce is making what’s now become something of an annual autumnal return. Sure as yellow and orange leaves fall from the trees, this conspicuously ribless abomination has made its way onto McDonald’s menus for what’s now the fourth year in a row. It went on numerous (misleading) farewell tours before that, making any McDonald’s during McRib season not all that dissimilar from a slightly better-smelling Dead & Company concert.
So how does one track down a McRib? Thanks to the internet, the process is easier than it was when the sandwich was first released as a limited-run menu item back in 1981. There’s a whole damn website dedicated to McRib sightings, which is sure to be abuzz with user-reported sightings in the days and weeks ahead.
The site even has a blog, which surprisingly isn’t a support group for people who have never encountered proper ribs or eaten real barbecue at any point in their life. Instead, there are posts predicting where the McRib will land and gotten way too excited about its appearance in Guatemala. Based on the timing and evidence, the only reasonable conclusion is that the “migrant caravan” is using dark money from George Soros to bring McRibs back to the US while illegally voting for DEMONCRATS multiple times.
So yeah. Eat a McRib. Get a McRib delivered to your home. Assuming the world doesn’t explode before then, it’ll probably be back for yet another farewell tour in Q4 of 2019 either way.