Hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and... hourglasses?
Quick: Name all of Lucky Charms marshmallows. If you’re an adult of a certain age, you might be inclined to go with a classic lineup like pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes. At least that’s how I remember the jingle from the ‘80s. Well, turns out I’m as out of touch with Lucky Charms marshmallows as I am with the new Snapchat update because about half of those marshmallows don’t even exist anymore. And now, a marshmallow that many people probably haven’t even heard of is getting retired: Say a heartfelt goodbye to… the hourglass?
First, let’s all get reacquainted with this magically delicious cereal. According to the official Lucky Charms website, the current marshmallows—which are technically called “marbits” (so out of touch!)—are rainbows, pink hearts, shooting stars (kinda still orange), hourglasses, clovers (still green but now as part of a larger yellow marshmallow), blue moons (no longer yellow!), balloons, and horseshoes (still purple!) Clearly, in that lineup, hourglasses are the odd man out: Though it’s all a bit newfangled, the hourglass—which was first introduced in 2008—would seem the most detached from the lineup most of us grew up with.
Adding to hourglass’s issues is that even a simple shape like a heart sometimes struggles to look like a heart. As a result, if I was to pour you a bowl of Lucky Charms right now, you’d probably only be able to identify the hourglass by process of elimination. Determining that the odd yellow marbits were hourglasses without any prior knowledge should probably mean you failed the Lucky Charm Rorschach test.
Regardless, the hourglass marshmallow’s decade-long run is finally coming to an equally unceremonious end. A few days ago, Lucky Charms took to the brand’s official Instagram page to announce, “Time is running out on the hourglass. Grab a box while you still can!” Or, you know, wait to buy a box until after that monstrosity is gone.
Lucky Charms told the site Munchies, “We will start phasing out the hourglass beginning next month.” As to whether it will be replaced with something else, the brand simply said we will “have to wait and see.” Frankly, they could probably just toss the “hourglass” back in the box and rebrand it as the “duck with the smooshed head.” Appearance-wise, that would be more accurate, and both things are about the same when it comes to what they have to do with leprechauns.