Enjoy the “Meaty Marina”

Credit: Koukichi Takahashi / EyeEm/Getty Images

Have you ever ordered a pizza before and thought to yourself “this is great, but what if I could also be eating another Italian food that was placed on top of this pizza?” It’s a common complaint that I’m sure you’re no doubt familiar with. (Hey, ziti pizza exists, right?)

Well, your prayers have finally been answered. That’s because Little Caesar’s is serving up a new “Lasagna Pizza” at select locations across the US. First spotted in a Reddit thread, the Lasagna Pizza looks pretty close to living up to its name. It sports “toasted Parmesan breadcrumb crust, Meaty Marina [sic], mini Ribbon Pasta, Italian Sausage, plus Mozzarella, Muenster and Ricotta Cheeses” according to Little Caesar’s website. It’s a pizza that only Garfield, the misanthropic lasagna cat, could love.

If the idea of eating a $9 pizza-lasagna hybrid loaded with 2740 calories is appealing, you’re in luck— provided you live in specific pockets of Georgia, Ohio, and West Virginia. Those are the few states where Chewboom readers have spotted this affront to pizza and Italian cuisine as a whole.

There are a lot of questions that derive from a pizza like this that pushes the boundaries of good taste, but one is foremost on my mind: Who— or what— is “Meaty Marina”? Is it the nickname of a lasagna-loving woman who came up with awful pizza idea? Is it a place where boats that sail on rivers of ricotta cheese are docked? A simple typo? We just do not know.

So if you’re the kind of pizza-head who simply can’t enjoy normal pizza anymore, set out for Ohio, West Virginia, or Georgia and order yourself a Litter Caesar’s Lasagna Pizza. Get a jump start on carbo-loading for 2019.