How to Make It
Mix together the Everclear, schnapps, 1 can Budweiser, and 1/4 cup each Kool-Aid and Tang powders. Stir thoroughly, making sure that the drink mixes are thoroughly dissolved, the fruit is coated and that you are spiritually onboard with your impending fate.
Add fruit and allow to soak for several hours, ideally overnight. There's still time to abandon mission and/or get your affairs in order.
Add more beer, schnapps, or Everclear to taste. Pour into drinking vessel, making sure to include some of the alcohol-soaked fruit. Top with sparkling wine. Accept your fate.