Introducing Broffee, an Unholy Fusion of Bone Broth and Coffee

In this fast-paced dystopia which forces us to rush from one catastrophe to the next, we can no longer experience the luxury of sitting back and sipping an unadulterated cup of coffee without the gnawing sense of guilt that we should also be putting something else in our bodies. It’s led us to pursue scientifically dubious creations like bulletproof coffee, which purport to help us “hack death” as if we don’t already live in a world that leads us to long for its sweet release.

Enter “Broffee.” Though its name conjures images of cracking open a couple cold brews with the boys, stop conjuring that image. Instead, it’s “the perfect marriage between coffee and bone broth,” according to the company that invented it, Bru Broth. Bringing the Asian tradition of a morning bowl of bone broth to the western world, Broffee features grass-fed beef broth, coconut aminos, and chickpea miso, finishing with mole and cocoa to add spice and sweetness to an otherwise umami-leaning flavor profile. It notably bears the new-agey designation of a “farm to bottle cold-pressed bone broth beverage,” which is not a thing that most other coffees would really need to claim.

Much like how Soylent first emerged as a drinkable, food-approximating substance that aimed to "disrupt" the user-unfriendly eating space before ruining coffee, Bru began its life in 2014 with an unholy concoctions that fused apple cider vinegar, cold-pressed vegetables, and organic bone broths. Now, they’ve found a way to make a gluten-, sugar-, and carb-free “frothy, savory” coffee beverage best enjoyed with added MCT oil.

Those of us who rely on caffeine-induced anxiety and heart palpitations to feel alive will likely be disappointed by Broffee. Bru chose to consciously halve the beverage’s caffeine quantity, so people who want to just drink bone broth for fun “can partake without the heart skipping beat side-effects.” You can still enjoy “disease fighting antioxidants” if you’re one of the roughly zero people who drinks coffee solely for that reason.

While their products are on store shelves in the Bay Area (naturally) and Southern California, Broffee will also be available online. But with Bru planning on East Coast expansion in 2018, no one is safe. Credit where it’s due, though: At least they have a better name than Rooffee.