Compete at your own risk
EC: How to Play Brunch!
Credit: Illustration by Katherine Killeffer

How to Play Brunch!™

Set up:

Choose a table near the window.

Keep phone in hand and check frequently.

If summer, show off tattoos.

If winter, arrange hat in cool but totally impractical way on head.

Game Play:

  1. The player who successfully convinces his or her friends to come to their neighborhood begins with an advantage.
  2. Each player texts that they will be at least five to ten minutes late. The player who successfully waits until the last minute to show up also receives an advantage. Other players must wait at the host stand.
  3. Once seated, each player starts with a glass of still or sparkling water. Players can collect up to five more drinks throughout the game, including coffee, tea, orange juice, bloody Marys, and mimosas. Players that draw coffee and orange juice cards end up with a weird taste in their mouth. The player with the most drinks at the end of the game must go directly to the bathroom.
  4. The player who looks at the menu first becomes the READER. The READER says a menu item out loud. For example, “Nutella French Toast.” The rest of the players are required to respond with either “Oooh,” “Ahhh” or “That sounds good” before the READER can decide whether to announce their order or keep it to themselves. The player seated to the right becomes the next READER.
  5. Once each player has decided on a menu item, players engage in a mandatory round of SMALL TALK. Categories include:
    • IMDB
    • MOMS
  6. Here’s where it gets really fun. When the SERVER comes around, each player must ORDER to earn points.


Kale: +5 points

No. of things crammed into bloody Mary: +2 points each

Special name for bacon: +5 points

Correct pronunciation of “huevos rancheros”: +5 points

Frisee and/or watercress: - 20

Gluten-free just because: -28

Pancakes the weight of a small baby: +10 points

Room-temperature hollandaise: -50

Combining things with donuts: +20

Individual French press coffee: +10

French toast encrusted with something terrible for you: +10

Infused butter: +5

Special Instructions:

Double Drink:

If a player lands directly on a DOUBLE DRINK space, they must order another. If a player is resting on a DOUBLE DRINK space, they are drunk.

Splitting the Bill:

Toward the end of game play, players can choose to split the bill. Broke friends are at a disadvantage during this round. Drunk friends are at an advantage. Broke friends can be drunk friends. The SERVER loses.

Two-Player Game:

In the instance of a two-player game, the rules change slightly: Players must alternate turns being the READER. SMALL TALK cards become ARGUMENT cards. Players can earn additional points for eavesdropping on the conversation next to them. DOUBLE DRINK spaces are plentiful.

How do I win?

Anyone with the time and disposable income to spend on brunch is automatically a winner.


Hangover the next day! You can do this all over again.