You can do sunny-side up. You can do over easy. You can do over hard.
You got omelets down. You can do a French rolled omelet and an American folded omelet simultaneously in two different pans—without a spatula.
You’ve got scrambled. You could teach a scrambled eggs class at the Learning Annex, if you were in this for the money. You’d get all Dead Poets Society with it and jump up on the desks and throw eggs around. Your students would remember you and your passion for eggs for the rest of their lives.
You’ve got hard boiled, soft boiled, and medium boiled. You’ve invented two new ways to make shirred eggs that only the U.S. Patent Office knows about.
But can you coddle? Can you delicately steam an egg in a coddler so it’s tender a.f.? Coddling is like poaching, only way cuter. These days, not enough people coddle, but everyone should.
Here’s how to coddle your eggs like a dandy motherf***er.
1 tablespoon heavy cream
1 bacon strip, cooked
Dash of salt
Dash of black pepper
How to Make It
Egg coddlers are little ceramic dishes with metal screw-top lids. You can find a twee Victorian-style coddler at a flea market, an antique shop, or eBay. Win extra posh points if it’s from Royal Worcester.
Fill a shallow pot with water until it reaches the lips of the coddlers. Remove the coddlers and bring the water to a gentle boil over medium-high heat.
Smear butter on the insides of each coddler, splash with heavy cream, and season with black pepper and salt. Add bacon to the mix, because of course you should. And finally, crack an egg inside each bowl.
Screw the lids on tightly and carefully place them into the pot of boiling water. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for five to ten minutes depending on how well-done you prefer your eggs.
Turn off the heat and lift the coddlers by their rings with a hand towel or an oven mitt. (Ain’t nobody got time for kitchen burns.) Quickly, but safely, place the dishes on a heat-resistant surface and unscrew the lids.
Serve your coddled eggs immediately and savor the delightfully soft, tender yolk action happening right before your eyes.