They probably didn’t register for that

By Rebecca Firkser
Updated March 09, 2018
Credit: Photo courtesy Hidden Valley

Hidden Valley Ranch has announced they will gift a bottle of ranch dressing to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle for their wedding. While that may sound like an extremely weird gift, know that the bottle is covered with ridiculously expensive jewels, so obviously that makes it worthy of the royal couple. Made of 18-carat white gold and diamond and sapphire-encrusted glass, the bottle of ranch is said to be worth about $35,000.

“Hidden Valley Ranch is honoring the great pairing of a fellow famous American with British royalty, as well as those who royally love ranch,” said Hidden Valley in a press release. Why go so over-the-top with the gift? Hidden Valley thinks a bejeweled bottle is “the only way to serve America’s favorite ranch to royalty.”

Feeling jealous? Well, you’re in luck, because it appears that Hidden Valley had another luxurious bottle commissioned, and you could actually win it. Starting Saturday, March 10, also known as the high holy holiday National Ranch Day, ranch fans should keep their eyes open for a Tweet on the Hidden Valley account announcing the bottle. If you retweet Hidden Valley’s post, you’ll be automatically entered to win the second bejeweled bottle. The contest will run until May 19, so if you’re too busy eating ranch over the weekend, there will still be time for a retweet.

I am curious to know what the winner will do with such an expensive prize. While there’s a lot one could do with $35,000, like attend a semester of classes at a well-respected liberal arts college, or buy several thousand regular bottles of ranch dressing, I hope the winner considers hanging onto the bottle to commemorate the times we live in. In what other reality can diamond-covered bottles of ranch dressing be won via Twitter? I’m sure your grandkids will want to hear about that.