Yogurt drinks have unseated the once-mighty Greek yogurt from its dairy throne
EC: Greek Yogurt Is No Longer the Most Popular Yogurt
Credit: Photo by Flickr user Amy Stephensen

Sales of Greek yogurt, once wildly popular, are waning, according to The Washington Post, which reports today on new findings from the research firm Mintel. Sales of yogurt drinks, on the other hand—such as yogurt smoothies, kefir and lassi—are up by 62 percent (and climbing) since 2011, Mintel says. The report may come as a surprise to those of us who view Greek yogurt as a tasty, easy-to-prepare morning meal—not to mention the probiotic benefits! But the American diet, like the American mind, is losing its attention span—hat tip to Allan Bloom—bending toward quick, convenient meals at breakfast. It may not seem like a big deal to scoop some white glop into a bowl and throw in a few nuts and berries—if that—but for some it’s just too time-consuming, apparently.

Little Miss Muffet, who it’s safe to assume enjoyed strained dairy products more than the average American consumer, would have trouble with these revelations, I imagine—though the unpopularity of tuffets would surely shock her more.

Along with Greek yogurt, hot and cold breakfast cereal is losing its appeal, too. A recent report by the research firm IBISWorld estimates that by the end of the year cereal sales will have declined by about 17 percent from 2009, mostly, analysts say, because consumers view cereal as inconvenient and too sugary. Sluggish sales have pushed popular brands like Post, Kellogg and General Mills to put out snackier products like breakfast sandwiches and protein bars that can hook the distracted American mouth.

Another report by Mintel surveyed millennials and found that 39 percent of them think cereal is inconvenient because it requires that they wash a bowl. And who needs a bowl when you’ve got Go-Gurt?