That's one fancy piece of picnic luggage
Do you have too much money and don't know what to do with it? Are you struggling to find a holiday present for someone who's in a similar situation? Do you know about the student loan crisis? Can I have your ATM pin? Hahaha no wait what? Jokes! Jokes. But really, if you find yourself in a real one-percent situation around the holidays, it can be difficult. What do you give someone who already has an elephant and a football team? Not a puzzle, that's for sure.
So to address this problem that I absolutely do not have, I scoured some luxury home goods and found something upsettingly opulent, pretty, and clearly for people who love picnicking on secret rooftops with Beyonce: a leather Champagne trunk from Rapport London, makers of leather goods and pocket watches and other luxury items. It is, again, a leather Champagne trunk. It fits two bottles of Champagne and four flutes, and comes in a cheerful yellow. It is the kind of object that would fit nicely into a Wes Anderson movie, such is its level of precision and twee. And it is $4,500, Champagne not included.
If you'd like to pack a little bit lighter, Rapport also offers a smaller leather Champagne box that fits two flutes, one bottle, and two Champagne stopper devices for $1,750. If your giftee is more into mixed drinks, there is also a (currently sold out) version of the trunk that has room for rocks glasses and several cans of the mixer of your choice, which comes in a charming aqua blue and also runs $4,500. Does your person enjoy hookahs? There's a $4,995 trunk for that too.
So if the Goop gift guide has so far failed you, think about a leather Champagne trunk, with a few bottles of a vintage something that cost most people's monthly rent. And remember, no war but class war. Haha, jokes! Jokes.