You love bacon. It's fatty, salty, smoky, porky—many of the things that are good in this world. If it were possible to undertake an all-bacon diet, surely someone (perhaps our very own Bacon Critic) would have, but it is highly inadvisable. The next best option is making more things taste like bacon. Yes, you surely could wrap all of your food in strips or woven mats of bacon, but DIY bacon salt is probably a better way to go. It takes a little bit of patience to get bacon to the ideal state for bacon salt, but it's most certainly worth the wait.
Make a batch of bacon salt and hoard it for yourself, or share the wealth by packing the bacon salt into tightly sealed containers to give to friends. Once you master the method, customize your blend with warm spices like cardamom, cumin, and cinnamon; add a touch of heat with smoked paprika, cayenne, or pepper flakes; or balance the salt with brown sugar for the best popcorn topping on the planet.
Though bacon salt is glorious any time of day, it's especially breakfast-friendly atop scrambled eggs, oatmeal, potatoes, or even bacon itself, if that's where the morning takes you.
2 pounds thick-cut bacon
Chunky salt (sea salt or Maldon salt work especially well)
Optional: brown sugar, spices, pepper flakes
How to Make It
Lay out the bacon in a cold skillet and cook over low heat, pouring off fat as it renders and taking care not to burn the bacon. (Save it for another use, like bacon candles.) When the bacon has cooked as far down as it seems it will, remove the bacon from the pan, blot it with paper towels, and place it on a sheet pan in a 200°F oven or a food dehydrator, if you are lucky enough to own one. Pour off fat or blot the bacon as needed. This may take 4 to 6 hours, but excess fat may cause the end product to have a clumpy texture or taste rancid.
When the bacon is completely dry, crumble it as finely as you can with your hands or in a food processor. Shockingly enough, there will still be more fat left, so place the bacon bits in a paper towel and blot as much as you can. You may even return the bacon to the oven and cook for an additional 1 to 2 hours. What you're looking for is bacon dust.
Once the bacon is as dry as possible, place it in a measuring cup, then measure out the same quantity of salt. Combine the two using a food processor, spice grinder, mortar and pestle, or by placing the bacon and salt in a paper bag and crushing them together with a rolling pin.
Add spices, pepper, or sugar to taste, and store in lidded containers.