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Teetotaling superfans feel booze goes against old Walt’s wishes

Tim Nelson
Updated: September 05, 2018

In many ways, a trip to Disneyland is like stepping into an idyllic realm. The Anaheim, California theme park was the first of its kind when it opened in 1955, and remains as a monument to the legacy of the man who brought so much joy and wonder to the silver screen. But for parents toting screaming children, the general lack of access to alcohol at the classic theme park has been far from magical.

The introduction of a new Star Wars-themed cantina is poised to change the prohibitive status quo, and some of the park’s superfans aren’t taking the news very well. In their opinion, lifting the prohibition on in-park alcohol (outside of the members only Club 33, which, like, who goes there) is akin to breaking the seal on the auteur’s grave. They see that a ban on the sale of alcohol (and the debauchery they assume it inevitably leads to) as the last remaining vestige of Disney’s legacy— you know, other than the fact that the guy invented a whole bunch of cartoon characters who provide the thematic backdrop for a massive theme park that bears his name.

They’ve taken to Twitter to complain, since it’s 2018 and this is what people do now.

You’d think someone with the handle “JEDIMASTER7313” would be excited about the addition of a Star Wars cantina to Disneyland, but apparently not!

Though they’re a vocal presence on Twitter and r/Disneyland, these context-dependent teetotalers (who generally don’t seem to take issue with alcohol outside the walls of Disneyland) are far from monolithic. Critics have taken to calling these militants the “Walt Right”, which is pretty apt when you consider the persistent rumors of Walt Disney’s flirtations with German fascism in the years leading up to World War II. Their own emphasis on tradition, monolithic opinions, and stone-faced resistance to a diversity of experience also help make the label stick.

For what it’s worth, Disney did emphasize the alcohol-free nature during his lifetime. Shortly after the park’s opening, Mel Magazine says Disney told the Saturday Evening Post that he wanted “no liquor [and] no beer” in the park “because that brings in a rowdy element. That brings people that we don’t want, and I feel they don’t need it.” Easy to say when you’ve never had to wait two hours for Splash Mountain.

Much like their tiki torch-bearing counterparts, the ‘Walt Right’ are an impotent bunch who ultimately have no choice but to watch as Disneyland changes around them. The fact that other parks in the Disney empire already allow alcohol (I hear Epcot makes for a great bar crawl) seems to be irrelevant to their argument.

So here’s to the teetotallers of Disneyland, who will soon be swept into the dustbin of Disney history whether they like it or not. At least if the park does turn into the booze-soaked hellscape that they fear it will, it’s good to know that the park staff forced to deal with the fallout will be paid a minimum wage of $15 an hour.  

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