Cheetos Milk Is the Dirtbag Hero's Answer to Cereal Milk

First, there was milk. And it was good. Then, there was nut milk, and it was good, mostly, but also weird sometimes. Then, there was cereal milk, and it was so good, we made it into soft serve. And then there was Cheetos milk. And well, I don't know what to make of it.

As the mad scientists at Pepper.ph are behind the cheesy infused milk. "If breakfast favorites like Corn Flakes and Fruit Loops can be 'milked,'" they claim, "why not Cheetos—which itself is technically made with a cereal (specifically, corn) base?" They have a good point. Much like cereal milk, Cheetos milk is made by toasting Cheetos, and then soaking them in milk to infuse the flavor. After you strain out the solids, you're left with a "pastel orange elixir" that's a "crazy-creamy concoction infused with the sharp, decidedly in-your-face essence of processed cheese powder."

In my mind, what you'd do with this Cheetos-infused milk would have to be savory. Right? I mean, it's salty and cheesy and sharp. I'd spin it into a weird bechamel sauce, or a salad dressing. I could even see it turned into buttermilk and made into some seriously amazing waffles or pancakes. However! The Pepper.ph folks threw me for a loop. Instead of sticking in that savory lane, they went sweet and made fudge. "Lest you think we’re losing our minds here," they wrote, "The combination really isn’t all that strange: think of the creamy, cheesy, sweet-and-salty goodness of the warm liquid from the streetside cheese corn you loved as a child... just in handheld form, spiked with more Cheetos bits to up the savory contrast and crunch."

I was skeptical initially, but I kind of get it now. Savory, sweet, cheesy. It hits basically every kind of craving you could have—plus that craving for weird.