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Why not?

Tim Nelson
October 01, 2018

The calendar has turned over to October, which means only one thing: it’s decorative gourd season, friends. Long a symbol of the harvest, the pumpkin is the ideal fruit (yes it is, look it up) for displaying Halloween imagery on our porches and doorsteps. Those who live far from a pumpkin patch, however, have probably experienced a little fall FOMO when it comes Jack-O-Lanterns.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Why? Because it turns out that it’s totally possible to carve up a pineapple and transform it into a Jack-O-Lantern. Despite their prickly facade and somewhat oblong shape, the fruit can serve as the perfect tropical twist on the old standby.

So how’s it done? For that we turn to no less of an authority on hospitality than Martha Stewart. Her take on the “hula-ween” project involves a “pineapple that is free of blemishes, but not overly ripe” in order to keep things looking good and from getting too sticky.

The bad news is that doing the job right (or at least up to Martha’s exacting standards) requires the use of a pineapple corer to hollow out the inside, which is a thing I didn’t know existed until two minutes ago. If you’re the kind of peasant who doesn’t own a pineapple corer, using a knife to hollow out the pineapple is probably a serviceable alternative.

It’s a bit hard to draw a design on the sharp surface of a pineapple, so carving your halloween design will be an entirely freehand process. Spend some time visualizing a Jack-O-Lantern that’s had a few pina coladas for ideal results. Martha also suggests using an LED light instead of a candle to keep things from getting too melty and sticky.

Once that’s done, it’s time to host your haunted luau, and you no longer have an excuse not to get in the halloween spirit. For maximum effect, use the leftover pineapple slices to disappoint neighborhood trick or treaters.  

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