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Plant-based half and half to the rescue

Jeremy Glass
February 14, 2018

So your body has decided to wage an all-out war against milk and all its lactose-rich constituents. Boo! Whether you were born with lactose intolerance or developed it later in life, chances are you’ve learned the hard way how dairy affects your stomach.

Lactose intolerance is a condition where a person’s small intestine doesn’t produce enough of the enzyme lactase to digest the naturally-occurring sugars in dairy. This can cause bloating, diarrhea, gas, and what the afflicted call the “non-stop poops.”

With breakfast being so reliant on dairy, you have to wonder how the lactose intolerant can still enjoy the meal without leaving the table feeling empty and left out. No cheesy eggs, no cereal, no shame-fueled breakfast iced cream?! It’s no sweat. Let’s rifle through some breakfast foods that don’t contain dairy and won’t cause a shit-storm during your morning commute.

Coffee

Coffee and milk go together like (don’t say "coffee and milk," don’t say "coffee and milk") peas and carrots? Lattes, cappuccinos, affogatos, cortados—we get it, it’s a match made in heaven. That’s why giving up the white stuff may seem impossible when it comes to coffee, but oh boy, do we have good news for you: Dairy-free milk substitutes are not only plentiful, but delicious too! Whether it’s almond milk, coconut milk, soy milk, oat milk, hemp milk, person milk, or this ridiculously delicious plant-based half & half called Ripple, a creamy coffee doesn’t have to be a thing of the past.

Eggs

While many folks add cream and/or cheese to scrambled eggs to fluff them up and add flavor, remember that the addition of dairy is still optional. You want fluffy-ass scrambled eggs? Whisk them up before cooking. Want some flavor? Sea salt, pepper, and hot sauce.

Oatmeal

Historically, people have been known to make oatmeal with milk and, look, that doesn’t make them bad people. Oatmeal is one of those versatile grains that tastes good no matter how you make it, meaning you can substitute milk for water without losing taste or texture. Try sprinkling brown sugar, dried fruit, and coconut on top for some wholesome deliciousness.

Avocado toast

That’s right, the reason millennials can’t afford houses! This easy-to-make meal can involve as little as two ingredients, but can be doctored up every which way depending on what you have in your kitchen. It’s versatile, full of good cholesterol and vitamins, and tastes great without dairy.

Meat

Honestly, if you wrap your breakfast sausages in cheese, you’re asking for trouble.

Toast

It shouldn’t have to be explained that toast is naturally dairy-free, but not many people know that it’s generally OK to eat butter when lactose intolerant. Add jam, peanut butter, lox, whatever—the world is your toast-shaped oyster.

Bars

No, not dive bars, breakfast bars! Or dive bars, we’re not here to judge. A personal favorite is the all-around delicious RxBar. No unnatural ingredients, no bad stuff, just nuts and fruit.

Dairy-free can feel limiting at first—especially when your jerk friends invite you to that new mac ‘n’ cheese and pizza—but you can do it. If you start off on the right foot by making yourself a tasty dairy-free breakfast, you’ll see how quickly your body can acclimate to going without milk.

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