Photo courtesy of @butina_maria

Arrest her for this, too

Mike Pomranz
July 23, 2018

No one said the life of a spy was easy. You have to monitor every word you say not to give up your identity and look over your shoulder to make sure you’re not being assassinated. It all sounds very distracting—which might explain why alleged Russian agent Maria Butina apparently couldn’t focus hard enough to make a decent plate of scrambled eggs.

After Butina was arrested earlier this month in Washington D.C., charged with failing to register as a foreign agent and conspiring against the U.S. government, New York Magazine’s The Cut figured they'd dig through what is believed to be the 29-year-old’s Instagram page for food photos and found some crazy-looking photos of scrambled eggs.

Back in March of 2015, Butina apparently posted a breakfast photo of a plate of eggs, a French press, and a Minnie Mouse glass next to her computer with the caption, as translated from Russian by Google Translate, “After 8 km jogging, omelet and green tea for breakfast. And you?” That’s a simple enough post, except that upon further inspection, this “omelet” appears to be swimming in its own liquid.

Of course, we could have tossed that post aside as an isolated incident, but three months later, eggs had once again returned to the Instagram account. Who knows what was happening outside of social media, but apparently this egg-making technique had sparked a bit of conversation. This new post not only showed the water-logged scrambled eggs, but also a couple shots of the egg-making process. And then, it addresses this issue head-on. “Omelet from 2 eggs, a glass of low-fat milk and yogurt this morning,” the caption explains. “Come on, criticize for a liquid omelet—and I love it and specially do it. That's how I'm bad.”

I’ll take the criticism bait: Yes, fine, make your eggs however you want, but that doesn’t mean you have to post them on Instagram. The site is supposed to be where we put food photos we’re proud of, not some slapped together dish we made after a jog and then—it would seem—left out in the rain. Yes, we all have meals we make we’re not proud of, but those are supposed to be our little personal secrets. 

But then again, now that she’s been arrested, apparently keeping secrets isn’t Butina’s specialty. And not to say that you should judge anyone by their eggs, but clearly, something suspicious was going on here.

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