1. Remove lunch dishes from table. Stack on breakfast dishes and your hairbrush, both already in sink.
2. Get out plate.
3. Get out the other plate.
4. Get out the right plate.
5. Offer dinner options. Include at least one of four foods toddler is eating this week.
Someday you'll serve
Note to self: One can love fruit and peanut butter and still lose their minds when served the two together.
90. Pour self a glass of white wine.
91. Take a sip. Feel spirit lift. Start singing happy toddler songs.
92. “All done!”
93. Wet rag.
94. Offend toddler by wiping hands and face.
95. Remind toddler that this happens every meal and that peanut butter is sticky. Duck to avoid grilled cheese projectile.
96. Pronounce toddler clean.
97. Fetch requested third scoop of peanut butter.
98. Regret starting Head, Shoulder, Knees, and Toes.
99. Toss rag in sink and decide a bath is now in order to remove peanut butter from head, shoulders, knees, and toes.
100. Free squirming toddler from booster seat.
101. Eat grilled cheese strips. Call it dinner.