Photo by @TacoBell via Twitter

It's the incomprehensible breakfast we deserve

Tim Nelson
December 12, 2017

Note: The Naked Egg Taco was also voted the Worst Fast Food Breakfast of 2017.

2017 has been a constant stream of absurdity and chaos. Nearly every day brought with it some new stressor as the fog of fear and paranoia thickens. As this year’s political climate demanded that we speak more frankly about the values and ideas we’ve sought to preserve, it’s only fitting that the best fast food breakfast of the year has joined us in coming out of its shell. 

That’s right— though this year brought us chicken nuggets for breakfast and pancakes on a stick, nothing could compete with the Naked Egg Taco. Part of Taco Bell’s new breakfast menu, it carries the concept of thinking outside the bun to its logical conclusion. Now, we may finally, truly, live mas from morning until very late into the night. 

The first thing you’ll notice about this breakfast “sandwich” is the conspicuous absence of outer breading. Instead, the role of taco shell will be played by a fried egg (with a suspiciously solid yolk),which holds the ingredients together in a warm embrace. Even in an age when gluten feels verboten, one has to respect the audacity of a fast food chain who asks us to start our day by holding a greasy, fried egg in our bare hands.  

There’s more to this avant-garde deconstruction of the breakfast taco than its ovular outer layer, however. Inside, you’ll find hearty potato bites, bacon bits or sausage, and copious amounts of cheese. In that respect, it’s similar to Taco Bell’s Cheesy Potato Griller for the rise and grind (interpret as you will) set. By streamlining the creation of a bacon or sausage, egg, and cheese, the Naked Egg Taco frees up culinary bandwidth for the grilled potatoes, making it possible for the elevated breakfast consumer to focus on the carbs that truly matter. 

The Naked Egg Taco truly is an avatar for 2017, a year where dissatisfaction with the status quo led to a radical upheaval that annihilated our understanding of how society is supposed to function. While haters and losers will seek to besmirch the Naked Egg Taco’s name, others will undoubtedly swear by it until the bitter end. It’s impossible to say what 2018 has in store for any of us. But if Taco Bell can try and convince us that a fried egg is a finger food, then there’s no reason each of us shouldn’t try to shoot for the stars next year. 

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